HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!
A few months back, right before I moved to NYC I began to feel myself at the summit of a huge mountain. Somehow I knew I would now be stepping on to an even bigger roller coaster than I could have ever imagined. I sat on my favorite cozy couch in my bright and sunny living room in the massive and beautiful apartment I worked so hard for, called my home, and built my business in. Now staring at the blank walls and open space, I began to mentally prepare for what was about to come and the opportunities I had just created for myself in an entirely new city. I picked up a pen and wrote myself a letter. The purpose of this letter was to (1) Settle my mind and get my bearings straight (2) Serve as a constant reminder to myself. What I was doing was for a reason-even when the struggle is real and I am completely overwhelmed, there is a reason for it (3) To be able to look back at it one day humble and proud that I built something out of nothing but passion and imagination. I am now sitting in my 500sq foot New York apartment, no sunlight, a very different view. I am on the same couch, that almost didn't make it through our new tiny entry way, without my loving boyfriend and I using all of our might to cram it down the steps, and through the door into our lovely, basement apartment that we have now made into our humble but loving home. My life is very different now, not at all as cushy and comfortable but instead unknown, at times very hectic and stressful, and constantly calls for me to get on my feet and my ass in gear! I wouldn't change it for the world. Although I still have so much more growth to accomplish before I am satisfied, the wisdom that flowed from the universe and out of me into this letter could not have been more accurate.
You see, I never want to lose that fire and passion I have in me for what I do regardless of how hard it gets and even when it seems like there is no direction or outcome. That light will forever be ignited inside of me, even if I have to write it down and remind myself, reading it back as a constant loving reminder to focus, screw your head back on straight, and remember why you are here!
This letter is my little reminder each time I read it, maybe it will help someone else reading it today...
It has been a while. I am writing you this in an effort to bring you some clarity. You see, sometimes we get very introverted in our woes and all we need is a step outwards, to see yourself from the clouds. Screw your head back on straight if you will.
You have been climbing a very steep mountain lately and your right there about to reach the summit. It has been the toughest climb of your life to date. It has tested your faith, patience, and endurance like it has never been tested before. It has rattled your core and foundation, questioned your sense of self as well as the intentions of those around you, and you have every right to feel a little lost and overwhelmed. However let me remind you of a few things…
1. “I open my arms to all the good the universe has to offer and I am open and receptive to any and all good. I welcome change into my life and release the past. I move forward with peace and love.” These are your words. You welcomed this. You are doing this because you want it. You love it. It is what brings your heart and soul joy and life and now it is your way to provide for yourself and make a living. Forget the people who are more established, well known, or have status in your industry. Do you. Learn from them if they are willing to open their hearts and share with you and move on from the ones who close themselves off. They are just not for you. Never compare yourself and never make yourself inferior. You are uniquely you and your journey is the right one for you. Keep your eyes on the prize. Work hard but don’t force it. Enjoy every moment of the ride.
2. If you do not take risks you will never get what you truly want because you will never know what it is. If you don’t allow yourself to fall on your face a few times how will you ever fly? There is a difference in arbitrarily or haphazardly jumping into things, but there is nothing wrong with taking calculated risks, and often. It is actually essential. You will never have every single detail worked out, you will always make mistakes along the way but that is part of the process. Let go and let it happen. If you stayed where you are right now in this moment and never changed or reached for a different experience, would you ever really be truly happy? The thought of being stagnant or complacent is far worse than the thought of taking risks and possibly falling on your face but also possibly thriving as a result.
3. Do not listen to people. They will put all of their past failures, doubts, insecurities, etc onto you-even if there is no ill intention. People love to “save” others from making mistakes and inform them on what they did and how it didn’t work out. The only person you can learn life lessons from are yourself. Often times through this process people would ask me anxiety provoking questions that had not even occurred to me to be something to worry about. I would go home worrying and sometimes even place that fear and anxiety onto my partner or loved ones. Understand those are not your beliefs. Differentiate between the two and block out the static. Trust yourself and your intuition. If you want something you will put your mind to it and always find a way to get there no matter of any obstacles that seem to be in your way. Always.
4. For you, this process was filled with many unexpected twists and turns. Little details that took a lot more time and energy than you initially thought. SO WHAT? You do it anyways and put yourself where you want to be. The most important thing for you to remember is to deal with these details in the order in which they come-one at a time. DO NOT let it bog you down. Always revert outwards at the end of the day and remind yourself why you are doing it in the first place.
5. Lastly, wherever you are & whatever you do, you will always be divinely loved, protected and guided. Believe that with every ounce of your being and ever chance you take. Making life decisions will suddenly become a whole lot easier. If you make a wrong move, say the wrong thing, take the long way around, pay more than you had to- doesn’t matter-you are always loved and taken care of. It was only a misstep because you view it that way. You didn’t get what you thought you wanted at that moment but it put you on the path to obtain not only what you wanted but what was meant to be. Have faith. Have love. And for the love of gawddddd be patient, it is coming in the exact right moment, time, and space and has only your higher good in mind.
In closing I want you to know how proud I am of you and how loved you are. You are worthy and deserving of all the good the universe has to offer and all the amazing opportunities you have received and continue to come your way. You are divinely loved, supported, protected, and guided. I trust your intuition and the process of life that you are on the path that is meant for you and will continuously prosper in all aspects of life as a result. Peace & Love.
Yourself, Nikki Fontaine